Mentos and Diet Coke

Ok. What kind of genius watches videos on YouTube of guys exploding 2L bottles of Diet Coke and Mentos and then decides to conduct the same experiment within the confines of his own body?

Go to the following link and find out:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=mSyL7u-L_dE&mode=related&search=

Buddy, not only are you a complete freaking idiot, but ... you need The Beats!

Take THAT you lazy fuck!

Some people are hard working. Some people are reliable. Some people don't take your money and then fail to do the work they promise to.

"AS" is a person who does NOT fall into the above noted "some people" category.

AS runs a ski shop in the winter. In the summer, he paints, builds decks, does odd jobs and cruises Wasaga beach looking for 15 year olds to share the 3 tins of Heineken he's carrying around in a plastic bag. In short - he's a real class act.

2 months ago, I paid him a reasonable sum of money to do some things around our house. To date - he's done very little.

Although I should clarify that I've been down this road before. He has pulled the "ask for money up front to get the materials" stunt on one previous occasion. And what's that saying? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Well this time I've learned my lesson. Buy as much Heinie as you can with that cash buddy and make it last. You'll get no more from me.

AS, you are a beer guzzling, woman oogling, lazy ass .... and you need The Beats!

WANTED: Dead or Alive!

Height: 5'3" (with arms in air and platform shoes on feet)
Weight: Who knows? He's throwing it around all the time.
Hair color: Black - frequently styled in an UN-fashionable bouffant-style "up-do"
Bad Habits: Drinking Hennessy VSOP with his corrupt political allies - that is, when he's not kidnapping film directors and their girlfriends.
Famous quote: "I know I'm an object of criticism in the world, but if I am being talked about, I must be doing the right things".
Wanted for: Holding Asia hostage while he tries to show the rest of the world how big his penis is. In short: for being a Thermonuclear Dickweed.

Kim Jong-Il ... not only are you one ugly fucker, but you need The Beats!

An embarassment of riches.

Who to choose, who to choose. My mind is bursting with candidates for this blog. I've also received some stellar nominations. However - my choice today has to be Tucker Carlson.

You may remember Tucker as the Libertarian pundit who up until recently co-hosted CNN's Crossfire. It was on Crossfire that he had the now-infamous confrontation with Jon Stewart, which ended with Jon calling him a "dick" (way to go Jon!). Perhaps Tucker's most recognizable feature was the inevitably gaudy bow-tie he would always be wearing. If you aren't either a quacky professor, or attending a black-tie event, you just shouldn't wear a bow-tie. Period.

While the above certainly QUALIFIES Tucker for The Beats, his lock for today's entry was achieved last night when he appeared on Dancing With the Stars.

His new show on MSNBC must be hurting. No "Star" in their right mind would subject themselves to such humiliation if they weren't hoping to gain a few ratings points or a new contract out of the deal. Consider his competition: Joey Lawrence (ex of Blossom), Harry Hamlin (ex of L.A. Law), Mario Lopez (ex of Saved By the Bell) and Jerry Springer (of, well, Jerry Springer). Despite this cast of characters, Tucker FURTHER distinguished himself as being the first one eliminated from the show. His performance was, "... an awful mess" and looked like he was "... sitting on the toilet". I've seen the video. And it really WAS that bad. Way to go Big Fella!

Tucker Carlson ... you need The Beats!